Silence

There are various types of silences. Some are more welcome than the others. A silence that follows a din, for instance, provides respite. It offers time and space to reflect upon the events that caused the cacophony. Some silences are deathly, often they are feared. And rightly so. 

What kind of silence do I prefer? I prefer all kinds of silence nowadays. It has been a long time since I heard anything else. Nature sounds are part of my environment  - white noise as they call it. Human voices, however, are rare in this part of town. I was not used to it before but right now I don’t mind the silence. 

This one is what they call the comfortable silence. Shared between friends and lovers. I was a prisoner of this silence. The awkward silence. The kind that is shared after arguments. But now I don’t mind it so much. How did I grow fond of my own captor? They call it the Stockholm syndrome it seems. 

Sometimes I sit and ponder over the mysteries of life. I don’t need a cave to meditate in. I don’t even need to close my eyes. There is no one around. Sometimes I wonder where all the people went. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened had I spoken up. But I chose silence. Amidst the chaos reigning, the din that I mentioned about, I began to run toward silence. I figured silence would help quieten my mind. 

But did it? I am not sure. It led to some interesting outcomes but no breakthroughs. What was I expecting from the silence? Well I need to sit down and think. Though not today. Today I need to listen to anything but silence. Voices and noises to break the silence. I wander around in circles but there is only silence everywhere I go. I try to scream but my voice is drowned in the heavy blanket over my ears. What is cancelling all that noise? There does not seem to be an outlet. Dense fog is swirling around me.  

Maybe it is time for me to stay indoors. My feet are twitching, my heart is racing, I am hungry and yearning for the voice. But there is only silence. I close my door and turn off the lights. I embrace my nemesis and go to bed. Perhaps tomorrow the fog will lift and the birds will come out.